Below are the 16 most recent journal entries recorded in Melissa's LiveJournal:

Thursday, August 7th, 2003
12:10 pm	End of week blas Hated getting up this morning. I don't know what it is about Thursdays, they suck. The week is almost over, but not quite. Kinda like leaning over the edge but not being able to fall type of feeling. Yuk! Boss is on the road, Robin (in office accountant) is on vacation. I'm working on a few audits here and cover the office bs. I hate sitting here all day, reminds of of why I chose NOT to work IN an office. (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, August 6th, 2003
9:34 pm	nice to be home (NOT) Geez...home from work, went shopping, bought tons of groceries. Damned kids are fighting. I can't wait til school starts. Toni's not coming down tonight, Bills working nights. Two lovers and I'm sleeping alone...somethings definitely wrong with this picture. (Comment on this)
4:36 pm	Long time! Wow...been over a year since I last posted here. What a year it's been. I'm a year closer to getting my bachelors degree, got a fantastic job as an auditor for a local accounting firm. Flexible hours, good pay, I don't know how I got so lucky. All is well with the family. The girls are great, Jessica had a great summer with softball...she's turned into a "beast" on the field. She made it for the varsity Valleyball team, and is on the dance team. Jackie will be running cross country and is practicing with the swim team. Kimmy made it for twerp cheerleading and is her normal busy self. My marriage is okay. Bill and I still have issues, most have been worked out over the past year. He's learning to be a bit more sensitive. Toni is great. She is the one constant in my life. Always there for me, always understanding....I don't know what I ever did to deserve her love. (Comment on this)
Tuesday, July 23rd, 2002
3:05 pm	Jessica (14) was putting on eyeliner and mascara before her softball game last night. Kimmy (6) asked her if it was a MAKEUP game!!! HA! Current Mood: chipper (Comment on this)
Monday, July 15th, 2002
5:17 am	I think I say this over and over again only because I just can't believe how my life has turned out. I can't believe that after all the years of abuse from dad, all the turmoil and distress of the divorce between him and mom, all the counselling and therapy to help me deal with a fucked up childhood, I am finally at a point in my life where I've never been so content. I have three beautiful and healthy daughters, a husband whom I love with all my heart and who returns that love, and a wonderful partner in Toni, I am so lucky to have her in my life. Sometimes I feel like I'm living in a fantacy world, do I deserve to be this happpy? Hell yes I do and if the rest of the world felt half as good as I do, it would be a much happier place. Had a great weekend. Toni and I took the girls to Moraine State Park to swim. I have a little more sunburn but nothing as bad as last weekend. We made Linda go with us, her and Ariena have broken up and she was a mess. I think we made her feel a little better about life, joked with her a lot and cut up on Ariena. Talked to Ariena later in the day. She's just as broken up about the break up as Linda is. Ariena's young and insecure, she's unsure of her sexuality and struggles with issues of her bringing up. I told her I was here for her if she needed to talk, we'll have to see what happens. Current Mood: Yukky (allergies) (Comment on this)
Tuesday, July 9th, 2002
5:51 pm	Feeling good about life T was online around 4:00, she had picked bill up from work, said he was in an ornary mood. I told her to go for it...they have never had sex without me there. We chit chatted for a while and he had gone to take a nap, told her to wake him up in 20 minutes...however she wanted to. It'll be interesting to find out later if they did. I'm proud of myself for not even experiencing the slightest bit of jealousy, I wasn't sure how I would feel with the two of them together without me. I'm secure in my relationship with both of them. I don't think I've ever been happier. Life is good! (Comment on this)
1:37 pm	Got home from work yesterday to take my nap; to my surprise T was already there...waiting. She knew I was in pain and just laid there with me. Bill woke us up to go to Jackie's game; lost again. Those girls are driving me nuts, they've lost all sense of teamwork. After the game, T rubbed noxema all over me and I feel asleep. Took Bill to work this morining and went to T's house afterwards, fell asleep (yep...again). I love laying next to her, the feel of her skin, the sound of her sleeping....it makes me feel so peaceful with where I am in my life. Work seems to be no better than yesterday. Maybe I'll develop a new study guide or something. Use my brain for a change. (Comment on this)
Monday, July 8th, 2002
1:26 pm	Nap time! Work is boring; I'm outta here. I'm going home, taking off all my clothes and am sliding between two cool sheets... You'd think I would have learned after all these years in the sun...the shit hurts! (Comment on this)
11:49 am	Where has the time gone? Life has been soooo busy! The weekend away with T was absolutely wonderful. It was a peaceful weekend without bill and the kids. We were best friends, lovers, and pals all weekend.... Good news on Bill's back...not ruptured, just a buldging disk. He went back to work today. What a relief to everyone. Spent the 4th just laying around. Me, Bill and the kids all went to Moraine State Park on the 5th, had a great time at the beach and playing ball. Went back on Sunday, got a horrible sunburn. We went hiking which was really nice. T came down last night, rubbed some cool stuff all over my sunburn, what a sweetie she is. Watched Training Day with her after bill went to bed, cuddled for a while, then kimmy got sick, puked all over the place (probably too much sun). T helped me clean up the mess and get kimmy situated then went home. Work is boring as hell today, will probably finish up tomorrow for the week. The first five week session is over and there is only one 12 week class in session right now. No need to really be here. I need to finish Much Ado, answer these questions, come up with a thesis statment and write this paper....why did I take this class? (Comment on this)
Wednesday, June 19th, 2002
1:39 pm	This crazy life..... Monday....had a great threesome with Bill and T....wish we could find more times like that. I wonder if I'm crazy sometimes....dividing my time between him and her, the kids, work, school... Tuesday...Jessicas game, gosh these girls are driving me nuts...14 year old know it alls. Wednesday................Started packing for this weekend, I can't wait to get out of town for a few days.................Acct I students are finally starting to come in for tutoring, why do they wait for till the last damn hour before the test to come in her for help? The accoutning II students seem to be ok...having problems with the normal stuff. I've been procrastinating on this "shrew" paper thats due...I've got another due next week on "henry" shit...I better wake the hell up and get writing. Current Mood: tired (Comment on this)
Monday, June 17th, 2002
10:36 am	The weekend Went to butts and guts class at the Y on friday, feels like someone put my ass through a grinder. ---------------------------------------------------------- Looks like everything is on for Conneaut this weekend...looking forward to some she and I time. --------------------------------------------------------- Bill was ok this weekend, found lots of "stuff" for him to do. Bought him a remote control truck, a couple of models, and a rocket launcher for fathers day...boy toys to keep him busy until he sees the neurologist. -------------------------------------------------------- I'm way behind on my Taming of the Shrew paper, better come up with a thesis statement quick...looks like I have to start reading Henry this week...ugh. (Comment on this)
Thursday, June 13th, 2002
10:22 am	Spent 2 wonderful peaceful romantic hours with Toni this morning. I wish she and I had more time like that. Planning a weekend to Conneaut Lake on the 22 & 23rd. It started out just she and I but it looks like Linda and Ariena are coming with us. ugh....do I really want her there? ---------------------------------------------------- Bill goes to the neurologist on the 28th, man, he's going stir crazy. He shaved his damned head last night. I wondered what the hell the mess was in the bathroom this morning, thought jess had made some crazy attempt at shaving her legs in the sink or something, wasn't really sure. Went downstairs and he had fallen asleep in the chair....bald...nothing there.... ----------------------------------------------------- hmmm....wonder if I can figure out how to post these couple of pictures. I think I'm becoming addicted to lj! (Comment on this)
6:28 am	OK...so reality has kicked in, my hormones have settled and I have a clear remembrance of exactly why Ariena turns my stomach. Every word out of the girls mouth is a LIE. LIES LIES LIES....She lies so bad she believes herself. The good looks and that absolutely hot body of hers are overshadowed when she opens her mouth and words begin to form. UGH...will I ever learn? Jackies team won their game last night, she did really well. Had an argument with Valeries parents...the girl was yelling at the ump...he almost ejected her from the game...her parents are assholes, in their eyes, she does no wrong. They are the reason I hate coaching, I'd deal with the kids all day long if they didn't have parents! I'm off to toni's this morning to spend a couple of hours of well needed "she and I time". I miss being with her, life just doesn't allow enough time for everything. Started my period last night and I have horrible cramps. Better go take something so that I can function today. Current Mood: cranky (Comment on this)
Wednesday, June 12th, 2002
9:15 am	I don't know how I manage to get myself into these crazy situations. Ariena stopped by the house last night....gee whiz ...she had more cleavage happening than my heart could handle. I swear she does that shit to me on purpose, she damn well knows that I'm physically attracted to her. At least I went to bed with nice thoughts! Jess and Jackie both won their games last night, I was very proud of them both. I hope Bill gets Toni's car fixed cause she's driving me fucking nuts right now...I try to be understanding because I know that not working is enough to drive her nuts but also not having any transportation is making it worse. I've got to find some time to spend with her. Bill was cranky this morning, man was I happy to come to work. Current Mood: complacent (Comment on this)
Tuesday, June 11th, 2002
1:33 pm	oh my what a night last night was. Toni and I went out for a few drinks (which turned into a few too many). Ran into Ariena and Linda. This was the first time I've seen Ariena since our "falling out". We were all a little "unsettled" at first, but our true friendships kicked in and we had a great conversation. Ariena and I had a heart to heart....gee whiz is she HOT!!! Toni would absolutely die, but man...I'd do that girl in a minute! I know she feels the same way, I can see it in her eyes when she looks at me. I guess I'll have to sit back and see what happens. Life is lookin good! Current Mood: hungover (Comment on this)
Monday, June 10th, 2002
9:31 am	It's been years since I used a journal. This is probably the easiest way for me to get all the "noise" out of my head. Life seems so demanding right now. I thought things would settle down once the semester was over, but now with Bill on Workmans Comp and Toni out of work, AND with the kids out of school things seem to be way more hectic. I love them both dearly, but why do I have to be their source of entertainment? It seems that I'm always running but never doing enough...I know I can't please everyone, but gee whiz....Thank goodness for work, at least here I can get away from it all. (Comment on this)